Nine of Wands Reversed

Last January, I was quite surprised to be accepted to a Master's degree program. I'd applied on a whim one day the previous November, asked some acquaintances to write a letter of recommendation for me, came up with a tenuous and random feminism theme for my Master's project, and then promptly forgot about the whole thing. 
Then the acceptance letter arrived and all of a sudden I was deemed an expert about women in technology and what its like to work in the male-dominated, misogynistic, and family-unfriendly technology industry.
Now I have to write a book about it in order to pass grad school.
I'm overwhelmed by how daunting this project is. There aren't a lot of books like this one, but the ones that went anywhere were written by very successful and enterprising women, such as CEOs, Bloomberg journalists, and startup executives. Then there is little old me, who worked in a couple of tech jobs and had some funny experiences I wanted to write about.
Every day I put off more work on my project, I grow more and more exhausted, scared, uncomfortable telling these stories, and out of place in this program. I want to give up. It's a very reversed nine of wands place to be.
Let's see what I can do about it! 

The Nine of Wands upright is about finding one’s inner strength during an ongoing battle.
Reversed, the battle still rages but the querent might be stubborn or unwilling to learn lessons about it. Alternatively, one might just be exhausted and lack the courage required to persist.
 
Questions answered by the reversed Nine of Wands:
Who? The most stubborn person
What? A stalemate
Where? A fenced off area
When? The first week of December; When you’ve learned your lesson; After a failed attempt
Why? “Sometimes in life, your situation will keep repeating itself until you learn your lesson.” ~Brigitte Nicole
Yes or No? No
 
The reversed Nine of Wands as:
…an action?

• Learn from your mistakes
• Tear down the broken fence or door
• Take a nap

 
…a place in your house?

• The fence or the walls
• A room you haven’t visited in awhile

 
…a place in your city?

• A hospital
• A hotel
• Jail

 
…a place in the world? 

• Venezuela
• South Asia
• Scandinavia

 
…something to eat?

• Soup
• Avocado

 
…something to clean?

• Stubborn stains
• The toilet

 
…where to find your missing item?

• In the bathroom

 
…a color? Purple, red
 
…a movie theme? Stubbornness; exhaustion

• The Lion King
• Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
• Clerks

 
…a new career?

• Journalism
• Rescue worker

 
The reversed Nine of Wands
Before any card: Learn your lesson about (card)
After any card: Exhaustion; inflexibility

So, that's it then. I guess I'll suck it up, eat some soup, and become a journalist, chronicling the harrowing stories of women in tech. Or maybe I'll watch Clerks.

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